3 Lessons That Make a Relationship Last Long and Prosper
I am not sure how many millennials have been together for 18 years and counting. Yes, my relationship is an anomaly in my eyes due to our present cultural norms; and somehow, I still can’t translate what it all means. Maybe, my story was for your benefit and not my own.
Enough about the context of my relationship. I am about to school you on what it means to be in any type of relationship. Please don’t shoot the messenger I am only stating facts from my own opinions and observations.
I will however give you a few tidbits that can be shared if you like. I must first warn you that I used the national best seller “Victory” Secrets of Attila The Hun as a backdrop for explaining how it’s been learning, growing, failing, and becoming proficient in the area of commitment.
It’s not easy committing to something bigger than ourselves. If there has been no solid foundation laid for our ascent into family life all hell will begin to break loose. And, out of the ashes the phoenix rises again only if we become transparent enough to give away our life story.
Below, you will find a find simplified lessons around going the distance in your relationship. We all know that most relationships today will never last 18 years. Hell, most of us move jobs ever 2–3 years. Nevertheless, I am using the Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun to show how to establish successful management within a relationship which could ultimately lead to long lasting success.
Headaches “Get Paid for your Bad Days”
Never leave unresolves conflicts floating in the sea of invisibility. Brushing your negative tension under the rug will explode at some point. It’s understood that we as humans will have multiple relationships over a lifetime. Every bad break up and mistake you made was worth the lessons you gained from those experiences.
The goal is to now learn that we really only fall in love with three people in our lifetime and for different reasons. I will start with a high school sweetheart, a college fling, or a compassionate life partner. Again, I said love and not lust. We all go through our whorish phase to learn what we do and don’t like about ourselves; how we relate to the opposite sex.
As Atilla of Hun suggests never “Give up when you can still persist”. I have wanted to throw in the towel many nights and yet I am locked out of the old emotion of hit it and quit it. At some point I had to learn what it means to be in a healthy, committed, balanced and communicative relationship.
Let a Roman do it “Don’t Waste Your Energy”
Relationships with great potential turn down bad situations that doesn’t offer an opportunity for them to learn and grow. In the business world that saying is that we all have 24 hours in a day; and its about what we do with our time that makes all difference when it comes to obtaining success.
What you will learn as you progress in your relationship is that somethings are worth your efforts and somethings are not. You are not docile or passive. There is a place for the alpha, beta, and the gamma male/female energy construct. Never give in to the impulse to speak your mind just to feel better about yourself when it can only further perpetuate hostility in the relationship.
One Tribe, One Mind “Tribal Togetherness”
Your relationship will always perform best when each individual is assigned a task. What is the task of each relationship you ask? Figure it out. If you are the creative (Entrepreneurial Spirit) go-getter and your partner is eclectic and prefers are traditional approach (American Dream) to reality; use a blended force methodology to secure the bag.
Let each individuals carry enough wiggle room to advance the position of the fort. I learned that Military Strategy is the best weapon against breakups or divorce.
At the end of the day never throw the baby out with the bath water. It’s ok to stay in a situation that seems outdated and full of contradictions. This only makes sense when understand the importance in timing. It’s ok to reject those bad vibes from your partner that signals your brain to move on with your life.
I would never advocate to stay in an abusive or outdated relationship. I am stating that the longer you stay the more you learn not only about yourself but about what it means to be resilient when it comes to not allowing your emotions to control your life.
Time spent together is a form of currency often overlooked. It’s ok to have these monstrous feelings of uncertainty when the tides begin to shift in your relationships. You will always get paid for your bad days, the right management of your energy and a centralized idea surrounding oneness in your relationships.
What I failed to learn in this entire process and what you can implement immediately is an embrace of those nostalgic moments. Keep mementos from those happy times, burn scented candles from a past events, indulge in happy moments but don’t get stuck in the past. Why? Because depression and discontentment could ensue leaving you longing for the green grass on the opposite side of the fence.